Adrift in an ocean of non-sentient beings
I finally received Carol’s death certificate from the unfeeling bots at the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, Glancing through it I noticed that under the sections “Mother’s Name” and “Mother’s Maiden Family Name”, the entries were “Unknown” and “WALKER”. This triggered something in my mind that I hadn’t realised before. Whenever Carol had raised the hate-inducing subject of her mother, she had never mentioned her by first name or by any name for that matter. For Carol, the resentment of her maternal treatment was as fresh and vivid as it was when she was five…the mother-abuser of Carol’s childhood, the denier of their mother-daughter bond, was a non-person, merely and perpetually an accursed thing, not to be dignified with human attribution.
The entry for “Father’s Name” conveyed even less information. Entered on the page were the cold and clinical words that had haunted Carol all her life — (first) “Unknown” and (surname) “UNKNOWN”. Her father’s identity was an enigma—the missing nexus that perhaps would have made her feel more whole—which Carol had always puzzled over unendingly and unknowingly. Now, here it was, official confirmation from Births, Deaths and Marriages so it would seem, that the cloak of anonymity enveloping her natural father would accompany her to the grave. Given that Carol in her life caused such a ripple with so many people who entered within her orbit, touched so many with her selfless kindness devoid of the semblance of a quid pro quo, I wondered to myself, was Carol the known daughter of two unknown (and unknowable) persons? So it does seem.