In Praise of Terse Verse: Limericks, Clerihews and Modern Haikus

Literary & Linguistics

The expression of poetry in shorthand form has always managed to garner a measure of popularity with the general reading public – especially in comic vein and done well. The shortness of the poetic form makes its more accessible when you line it up against the more self-consciously serious stuff…formal, academic poetry with its proclivity towards the denser, often seemingly impenetrable forms of expression. Variety is the watch-word with informal poetic forms, be it the contemporary verse of ‘Shrink Lit’ and modern haiku poems, or the older verse genres such as the epigram, the limerick, nonsense verse and the clerihew.

The essence of the poetic epigram was aptly captured by (Samuel Taylor) Coleridge, “a dwarfish whole, its body brevity, and wit its soul”.

Example:

“Little strokes / Fell great oaks”

(Benjamin Franklin)

The limerick’s Irish genesis can be traced back to the 18th century and the Maigue Poets of County Limerick. Structurally, the limerick uses a stanza of five lines with a strict rhyme scheme of AA-BB-A. It embodies the spirit of nonsense verse and the modern variant sometimes tends to use obscene themes for humorous intent. Limericks have also been a vehicle for popular children’s nursery rhymes – eg, Old Mother Hubbard, Little Miss Muffet, Hickory Dickory Dock, Jack-and-Jill, etc. etc.

The best-known serial exponent of the limerick was Edward Lear who popularised it in A Book of Nonsense in the mid 19th century (although he himself did not use the term ‘limerick’). Lear’s limericks contain an inherently circular logic to them….a typical, absurdly inane example of his limericks is:

There was a Young Person of Smyrna
Whose grandmother threatened to burn her.
But she seized on the cat,
And said “Granny, burn that!
You incongruous old woman of Smyrna.”

The clerihew has also been a popular verse-style with its emphasis on simplicity of form and use of whimsical themes. It’s inventor, Edmund Clerihew Bentley, began penning verses using the eponymous device as a schoolboy. One of Bentley’s most celebrated clerihews goes:

Sir Christopher Wren
Said, “I’m going to dine with some men.
If anyone calls,
Say I’m designing St. Paul’s.”

As demonstrated, a clerihew is a form of light verse usually consisting of two couplets (four lines), with lines of uneven length and irregular metre, the first line usually containing the name of a famous or well-known person [www.dictionary.com]. It employs a specific rhyme scheme, AA-BB, and it’s intent is humorous or possibly gently chiding. Less charitably the clerihew has elsewhere been described as “rhyming doggerel”.

Alice in Wonderland

Another of Bentley’s playful clerihews has fun with the author of the brace of universally popular Victorian classic books Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass:

Lewis Carroll
Bought sumptuous apparel
And built an enormous palace
Out of the profits of Alice.

Of Ivanhoe author Sir Walter Scott, Bentley wrote:

I believe it was admitted by Scott
That some of his novels were rot.
How different was he from Lytton
Who admired everything he had written!

And of colonial novelist H Rider Haggard:

Sir Henry Rider Haggard
Was completely staggered
When his bride-to-be
Announced, “I AM SHE!”

Later, Bentley’s own son, Nicholas, had a go at the clerihew:

Cecil B. de Mille,
Rather against his will,
Was persuaded to leave Moses
Out of “The War of the Roses.”

Over the decades a number of famous writers have turned their hand to composing clerihews including GK Chesterton and WH Auden. Auden’s interest was engaged sufficiently to publish a collection of clerihews in a book called Academic Graffiti – a couple of his best efforts are:

Henry Adams
Was mortally afraid of Madams:
In a disorderly house
He sat quiet as a mouse.

⌖⌖⌖

Louis Pasteur,
So his colleagues aver,
Lived on excellent terms
With most of his germs.

Footnote: the clerihew, despite (or very possibly because of) its juvenile shallowness and nonsensical nature, has had an ongoing relevance as a teaching tool in engaging primary schoolchildren in the art of poetry-writing.

The Haiku Society of America defines the haiku as “a short poem that uses imagistic language to convey the essence of an experience of nature or the season intuitively linked to the human condition”. In English it’s structure consists of three unrhymed lines of five, seven and five syllables respectively (17 syllables in all).

The modern haiku has struck a cord in America more than anywhere else, though a great many of the experimenters in this form have tended to not adhere to the established 17 syllable/three line criteria. Outstanding US poets and writers who have dabbled in the haiku include illuminati like Robert Frost, ee cumings, William Carlos Williams, Carl Sandburg, Richard Wright and Wallace Stevens, and a swag of the leading 50s and 60s beat poets including those Beat Generation icons Kerouac and Ginsburg.

In its modern, western incarnation, the haiku has had no greater recent proponent of the genre than David M Bader. The NYC attorney turned haiku humorist, had the Western Canon of literature firmly in his sights in a book first published in the mid-2000s as Haiku U: From Aristotle to Zola, 100 Great Books in 17 Syllables.

Bader’s slim, little volume churns out one condensed gem after another as he scythes through the literacy classics of the ages with irreverent fun. Moby Dick, American fiction’s time-honoured allegorical classic of the ultimate fight to the death between man and cetacean, is given a topical environmental twist by Bader:

Vengeance! Black blood! Aye!
Doubloons to him that harpoons
the Greenpeace dinghy.



Homer’s ancient classic poem equivalent of the modern “road movie”, the Odyssey (all 24 books of it) is hilariously condensed into the form of an unfavourable weather bureau forecast:

Aegean forecast –
storms, chance of one-eyed giants,
delays expected.

In similar style, Bader takes the reductive handle to Jane Austen’s seminal novel of early 19th century English manners Pride and Prejudice, stripping the stellar text back to reinvent it in the form of a newspaper classified ad:

Single white lass seeks
landed gent for marriage, whist.
No parsons, thank you.

Bader’s take on Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is a triumph of ubër-alliteration. With a clever play-on-words he economically ‘nails’ the odious persona of Humbert Humbert in 17 syllables:

Lecherous linguist –
he lays low and is laid low
after laying Lo.

Bader also produced an earlier book [Haikus for Jews: For You, a Little Wisdom] in which he set down examples of distinctively Jewish Haiku – characterised in the main by recourse to a self-deprecating and at times a downbeat, cynical brand of humour.

Five thousand years a
wandering people – then we
found the cabanas.

“Through the Red Sea
costs extra.” Israeli movers
overcharge Moses.

Jewish triathlon —
gin rummy, then contract bridge,
followed by a nap.

 

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Shrink Lit: the Great Tomes of Literature Writ Very Small!

Literary & Linguistics

Some time around the early 1980s certain scribes started to bring the merits of “shrink lit” to the attention of literary publishers and by extension to the public … four centuries, I might add, after the Japanese developed the Haiku style of written expression. I raise the nexus because I can’t help think that the traditional and venerable style of Haiku was one of the influences motivating the rise of shrink lit. Other more contemporary catalysts have included the whole technological communications revolution and the increasingly busy lifestyles of people, etc, etc.

Shrink lit, as the term implies, reduces often famous and highly vaunted literary works to concise snatches of light verse – usually comprising around 8 to 12 lines of rhyme. Long and complex novels, plays and poems, are subjected to a radical scaling back process. The writer’s brief is to pare the book back to the bone whilst preserving the essence of the story and hopefully the spirit of it as well (this is the theory at least!). Great for readers with short attention spans I say!

In the early 1970s one of the pioneering manifestations of this light-hearted form of imitation was an American book called Shrink Lits: Seventy of the world’s towering classics cut down to size, by Maurice Sagoff. This work took on the task of economising many of the best known classics of fiction such as Don Quixote, Gulliver’s Travels, Dante’s Inferno, Shakespeare and The Hobbit. The gruesome and brutal Old English epic poem Beowulf is rendered thus:

Monster Grendel’s tastes are plainish.
Breakfast? Just a couple Danish.
King of Danes is frantic, very.
Wait! Here comes the Malmo ferry
Bring Beowulf, his neighbor,
Mighty swinger with a saber!


The inclusion of The Great Gatsby, Lolita, Moby Dick, Catcher in the Rye, Babbit, Rip Van Winkle and Portnoy’s Complaint, et al, in Sagoff’s collection gives the book a distinctly American flavour, and presumably an American readership.

I seem to recall that Anthony Burgess in the Eighties published a list of the best (ie, “AB’s best”) Anglophone novels written since 1939. ‘Clockwork’ Burg provides an appraisal of each selection infused with his characteristic English snobbery and acerbity….the works are by authors of a certain homogeneous nature – a collection not surprisingly top-heavily British and overwhelmingly masculine.

Australians, being the reactive/adaptive creatures they are, weren’t long in assembling their own home-grown version of shrunken literature – Oz Shrink Lit: Australia’s classic literature cut down to size, edited by Michele Field. Oz Shrink Lit has proved to be popular over the years with uni students who are English majors, especially those assailed by a sense of oppression at having to tolerate an undemocratically chosen syllabus which necessitates tediously long and sometimes just tedious novels.

The Harp’ shrunk into ‘Down & Out in Surry Hills’

Field presents us with sixty-seven Aussie books, each one cut down to a handful of summarising verses. The sheer range of texts is impressive, among the shrunken classics are The Man From Snowy River (outrageously punning on ‘regret’), The Harp in the South (could be retitled “An Ode to the NSW Housing Commission” once given the Oz Lit downsizing treatment), A Woman of the Future, Summer of the 17th Doll and Puberty Blues. Juxtaposed against these Australian classics are harder to categorise entries in the collection: Clive James’ Unreliable Memoirs and, somewhat bizarrely, the Sydney White Pages.

The book comes in a handy, appropriately reduced size, 148mm x 90mm – just right for slipping through recession-shaped holes in coat pockets, losing on the bus, etc. Each verse is decorated with charming illustrations by that effervescent trans-cis Pacific cartoonist, Victoria Roberts. Victoria is really good at giving the countenances of her creations that look of crumbled anxiety, perturbed faces conveying a sense of harassed humanity in the onslaught of a perplexing post-technological age. Not only that, she is extra good at drawing kangaroos and dogs!

Oz Shrink Lit is the sort of book that would make any self-respecting dilettante salivate, offering as it does (the mirage of) instant erudition in an economy of words. Anything that can make Classics Illustrated look complex deserves our sincere admiration. For a particular tasty sample of Oz Shrink Lit’s humorous, condensed versification we need go no further than it’s take on Peter Carey’s Bliss, a quirky, modernist novel in the fabulist tradition (later translated to the screen in a vivid, memorably offbeat 1985 movie adaptation):

Always selling, always nice,
Ad Man Harry snuffs it twice,
Wakes to find he lives in Hell,
Now his wife does adverts well.

Letters to the ABC: Brickbats, Bouquets, Recognition by any name!

Creative Writing, Media & Communications

Over the years it has been fascinating to see what kind of fan mail on-air personalities at the Australian Broadcasting Commission get from your average “Joe or Jill Blow” punter in suburbia. Below is one such paean of praise received by the popular ABC Television personality Tim Bowden in the early 1990s. Included also is the program team’s deeply meaningful and well thought-out reply to the writer on behalf of the venerable Tim.


 

 

25th February 1992

87b Worthog Road

CAREY GULLY SA 5144

Mr Tim Bowden
Presenter, ‘Backchat’
ABC
GPO Box 9994
SYDNEY NSW 2001

Dear Tim,

I am writing to the ABC because I know that the National Broadcaster (trademark copyrighted) is just as committed to critical environmental issues as is the present Commonwealth Government(?). I am making my concerns on this matter known in the hope that the ABC, through the intervention of your own cutting edge, “finger on the pulse of the nation” [insert additional preferred cliche here] feedback mechanism, will take the necessary steps to preserve a vital endangered species in this country.

The species in question is the Shakespearean Teledrama! This threatened creature, so important to the intellectual and cultural ecosystem of the country, has not been spotted on Australian screens for bulk aeons of time! It was last sighted on Oz TV in the late 70s and early 80s when the ABC ran several episodes of the brilliant and highly ambitious BBC Shakespearean production which set itself the task of bringing all 37½ of the Bard’s plays to the small screen in one series.

Since then the ABC Drama Department has obsessively overdosed on contemporary crime and police shows, meanwhile archetypical dramas in the shape of the great, classic tragedies (Hamlet, King Lear, Macbeth, Othello, etc) have been driven to the point of televisual extinction. I am outraged at the ABC’s flagrant and criminal neglect of the much-beloved ‘Shakes’. I am so ropeable that I could happily strangle the Head of Programming with the ABC’s own Lissajous curves! The ABC has a duty to protect this globally-imperilled species and not let it disappear without trace, denying Australian taxpayers the enrichment to be had from such magnificent Shakespearean fauna.

I must warn you that if ABC TV does not rectify this deplorable omission, I am quite prepared to discipline those responsible for this monumental neglect! If Commission Masthead, Lord Talbot Duckmanton, is not willing to subject himself to a humiliating public act of retribution, I am willing to accept a token proxy in his place, someone sufficiently symbolic of the organisation’s ethos but none the less highly expendable. Tim, I believe that’s your cue to take one step forward …

Yours in good faith, flage-u-later,

SS

Mistress Sloane Snodgrasse
Dominatrix-General

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March 14th, 1992

‘Backchat’,

ABC-TV,

GORE HILL,
Sydney, NSW

Miss Sloane Snodgrasse,
87b Worthog Road,
CAREY GULLY SA 5144

Dear Miss Snodgrasse,

Tim is very busy at the moment, being tied up with various projects including writing his book on WWII, Hitler: South Hobart RSL’s Part in his Downfall, but he asked that we pass on his best wishes and commends you for your enthusiasm as an obviously avid viewer and supporter of the ABC.

Tim would like you to know that the National Broadcaster always appreciates any correspondence it receives from a fawning public and that every letter is valuable to someone, somewhere, at some time.

Yours sincerely,

D. Hemingway-Browne,

Personal Assistant,
‘Backchat’

 

 

Making News at the UNO 10 Years ago Today

Creative Writing, Media & Communications

Making news at the United Nations General Assembly 10 years ago today!

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P.I.R.I. News Archive

News Headlines in Thu 31 January 2005

imageDespotistan

Depotistani President Abudullah Mutawwa address to the UN: “We have no Homosexuals in Despotistan”

Depotistani President Abudullah Mutawwa in an address to the General Assembly of the United Nations vehemently denied that homosexuality existed in his country.

The announcement was met with a hushed silence from members of the Assembly, punctuated only by Mutawwa’s immediate follow-up: “They are all dead”. “We kill them all!” he somberly proclaimed with a deadpan face. Mutawwa instantly broke into a chuckle and apologised to the Assembly for making what he called his little “infidel joke”!

After an uncomfortable moment, Mutawwa added “Of course I did not mean it”, as if to reassure his audience. The President went on to say that, quite simply, such a thing as homosexuality did not exist in his devout Republic, stressing that it was totally alien to both Islamic and Despotistani culture. “We don’t have this problem in our society” he affirmed, adding, “This sort of thing happens in weak, decadent places like Texas and London … people like George Bush do that with other degenerate leaders from the West, especially Irishmen and Australians.”

“Despotistan is very liberal, peace-loving and tolerant society” he said. “In Despotistan, it is acceptable to have sex with a cat!”, he told the startled General Assembly, “as long as it is a Persian cat … but you cannot perform the “Beast with Two Backs” with members of your own genital group. It is forbidden. Allah would kill the offenders, and those members would have their members cut off! The God of all Gods would have them hanged, brought back to life and then torn apart limb from limb by rabid, frenzied wild camels!”

imageThe Despotistani President rounded off his UN speech by chanting the mantra “God is great, God is merciful” two hundred and fifty times in Ancient Akkadian.

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Email the President: goattorturer@repgov.dp