A look back at one of the big rating stories pulsating the length and breadth of the Primorsky Krai in 2005.

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Vladivostok Examiner

The World through the prism of the Far East

(English-language version)

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“Yes, I do read!” Cinnamon Girl protests

09:00 RFET Thu Sep 1 2005

NUUT – Metawati Semicomatoes, perhaps better known under her stage moniker, Enigmatic Cinnamon, is exasperated. She doesn’t understand why people say she is dead ignorant. She does read books in point of fact, the estranged wife of el bizarro boss of Mammoth Books Edwin Droog told the Examiner yesterday. “It’s only that as a young mother of three, I usually can’t finish them”.

“I often start a book but then I always get distracted by Romper Room or Late Night Poker, or its time to groom the boys, so I never seem to get the time to finish a book. I’m sure all mothers with three growing boys know where I’m coming from”, she confided in a revealing, exclusive interview.

“Of course we do read books together at home as a family. My two older boys, Hedwig and Caligula, both love reading stories about capital regrowth accounting, and I often read them fables at bedtime about the dangers of overreliance on long-term investment strategies”.

The Droogs’ third son, Kruiselnitski, who at six months of age is considered by his mother to be too young to get into books. “I might get him straight on to the iPod instead. Someone in the family needs to learn how to use this damn technothingamee gadget, coz I ain’t got a clue!” the eloquent Metawati gushed.

Semicomatoes was a member of the mega-popular late 80s and early 90s heavy metal C&W girl rap band, the Cinnamon Girls. The question of her reading tastes came up recently when the Examiner’s sister newspaper, the Nuut Daily Soporific, quoted Metawati as saying, “I haven’t read a book in my life”, and going on to indicate a preference for listening to ambience music and reading 1950s American tractor repair manuals.

The busy single supermum went on to say that those people who think she spends all of her day provocatively walking round in high heels and fishnet stockings are dead wrong. “Trust me”, she added, “at home with nobody else around, we are just so incredibly normal!” In a rare moment of philosophical contemplation the aromatic former singer said, “All day long I always find myself just flat-chat, doing all the everyday stuff – supervising the maid’s duties, checking the answering machine and adjusting the temperature on the jazucci. Its just boredom, boredom, boredom, which fortunately for everyone is interrupted by the occasional outbreak of tedium!” she added cheerfully.

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